Anger is an emotion I am not very comfortable with. In fact, I usually try to suppress it. I dislike conflict, debate, fighting, trying to convince others to see the world the way I do. But if I am being really honest, I am feeling an intense amount of anger right now.

I recently joined a writing group. Once a week we meet virtually for an hour and a half. Our amazing teacher, Anna Guest-Jelley, selects three poems as jumping off points. After she reads a poem, we free write for eight minutes using the poem as inspiration. Then we read what we wrote out loud to the group. There is no discussion about our writing, no critique, no questions and no apologies that our work “isn’t that good”. At the start of class, our wise teacher reminds us “we are not trying to impress anyone, not even ourselves”.

I am realizing that my anxiety is here to stay. I am not going to outgrow it anytime soon. But all is not lost. There are ways I can live with my anxiety in a way that is supportive and loving.

For me my anxiety is often visceral and embodied. When I feel anxious, it’s not easy to talk myself out of it. My anxiety can be situational (e.g. getting medical test results), it can be seasonal (rainy, stormy days flare up my anxiety), it can be hormonal, (which is really *fun* in perimenopause when hormonal shifts are less predictable).

I like to think of myself as a balabusta in training. A balabusta is the yiddish word for someone who is a good homemaker. Something I would never remotely claim to be. For now, I am translating this term in the realm of the kitchen–someone who is good at feeding their family (baby steps).  I’ve always wanted to be the type of person that could cook anything at the drop of a hat. For several years I watched Ina Garten, aka The Barefoot Contessa, on the cooking channel religiously. I loved her beautiful kitchen, relaxed approach to cooking and desire to feed her Hamptons neighbors constantly.

For several years now, when I write a text, my keyboard on my phone will switch midway through from letters to numbers. For instance, instead of the word “At” it will say “A5”. It was really quite infuriating and made sending texts or emails from my phone much less efficient.

I assumed there was something wrong with the phone. On multiple occasions I called the help desk or went physically into the Genius Bar. But nothing worked. The problem even continued after I upgraded my phone last year. Once again, I called for help and nothing they suggested worked.

When working with clients, I often run up against a situation where they question a decision they made in the past that they believe negatively affected where they are now. This thinking is not only impractical (we cannot change the past) it is usually not the whole story. There is never just one decision that got you where you are right now first of all. Second of all, decisions we made in the past seem much less complicated in hindsight

My husband and I joined my daughter as she tried out mattresses for a new bed for her NYC apartment. It was hilarious watching her lie down on each mattress and assess its comfort. One was too hard, one was too soft. I teased her that she reminded me of Goldilocks minus the breaking and entering part of the story. 

But life is like Goldilocks all the time. We are always assessing our “just right” and the better we are at figuring that out, the more we can live an authentic life. 

Lately I have been heading to Starbucks before my appointment with my amazing therapist to get each of us a latte. Of course she never asked me to do this, but it brings me such joy. She has given me so much that I should be bringing her a new car each week.

One of her magical powers is encouraging me to have hard conversations. This is how it will go. I will complain about something. She will say, you should talk to them (your husband, your kid, your friend, your client) about it. I will say, ugh, no way, I can’t do that. My hands will get clammy.

Ever catch yourself playing Wordle or watching Reels as a way to distract from getting your work done? We catch ourselves after 15 minutes of going through Reels, take a breath and chuckle at our sneaky ways to avoid work and then get back to work. We reprimand ourselves because doing this is clearly not a good use of our time and clearly a distraction. However, it is much harder to spot productive procrastination—things we do that are a good use of our time, just not at that very moment.

When I was a brand new mom I was pretty much afraid to leave the house on my own. It was so daunting. What if my baby cried, was hungry, or needed a diaper change? How would I handle this?

One story from The Davis Polk Revisited program - The program welcomes back to the firm former Davis Polk lawyers who have taken a break from the legal profession and wish to return to full-time legal careers.

As I plan the logistics of Thanksgiving, opening up our table, making the grocery list, figuring out who is bringing what, I am also thinking about the emotional and spiritual dimension to our time together.

When she was ready to move on, she realized she had a niche skill which could allow her to open her own marketing agency. This seemed like the perfect next step as she looked to discover a different sort of flexibility now that she was an empty nester.

Becoming an educator was Sherri’s second career. Sherri was a second generation CPA and began working for her dad and cousin’s accounting firm when she was only 14 years old.

Relationship building is Fred’s superpower. Many of his clients over the years became his friends. He cared about his clients and knew about their lives in the same way he cares about his students now and connects with them. For example, he knows each and every student’s name at his school.

Have you ever felt exhausted after an interaction where you had to pretend to be interested or interesting or smart or funny?

When working with clients on their career, we often find an anchor to help narrow down the job search.

Apparently, I am at the start of this golden decade. How can I make sure I appreciate it and make the most of it?

When I pictured the life of an empty-nester, I pictured freedom, relief, possibility. And while I have definitely had moments of that, it has not been the defining feature of my year.

I love the feeling of abundance and feel sad that we are often encouraged to limit, to have less, to need less.