Learning to Live with Anxiety

I am realizing that my anxiety is here to stay. I am not going to outgrow it anytime soon. But all is not lost. There are ways I can live with my anxiety in a way that is supportive and loving.

For me my anxiety is often visceral and embodied. When I feel anxious, it’s not easy to talk myself out of it. My anxiety can be situational (e.g. getting medical test results), it can be seasonal (rainy, stormy days flare up my anxiety), it can be hormonal, (which is really *fun* in perimenopause when hormonal shifts are less predictable).

I realize now that my anxiety will always be riding alongside me. Sometimes it will creep its head and I will have to look it dead in the eyes and say, sorry, I gotta do this anyway. I have to find a way to push through. And if I push through, I have to be extra caring with myself. I have to make choices that make the leap less scary and then give myself lots of TLC after the fact as my body settles.

Sometimes it will creep its head and I will look at it and say, ok, I hear you. I am going to chill out, and not dive into the situation. I don’t need to always push through my anxiety like we are often encouraged to do. Even if our anxiety is ridiculous, I think it is ok to give ourselves a break. Proving we are stronger than our anxiety does not need to be the goal. We can be kind and gentle with ourselves when we are feeling particularly vulnerable.

I will spend my life deciding when to heed my anxiety and when to override it. The answer may be external—this situation is actually not safe—avoid it! Or it may be internal—do I have capacity for this right now? But at age 52, I feel I am becoming more adept at trusting my gut. Knowing when to push through and when to hold back.

What is your relationship with anxiety? What are some situations where you have pushed through? What are some situations that you hold back? How do you care for yourself after pushing through a stressful situation?