Who’s your Kiki?
When I was a brand new mom I was pretty much afraid to leave the house on my own. It was so daunting. What if my baby cried, was hungry, or needed a diaper change? How would I handle this? I remember leaving my apartment for the first time with my daughter in the city and the baby nurse walked with me. I was literally a deer in headlights. She helped me cross the streets. She held my hand. My mind was on overload and my body was in need of healing. Becoming a mother was overwhelming. The responsibility paralyzed me.
As often happens, the thing I needed the most (in my case it was community), was the thing that was so hard for me to find (I couldn’t leave the house!). I learned about a mom and baby group at the 14th street Y and I called the organizer Kiki Shaefer and left a message. I have a feeling I rambled a bit about my limitations and concerns and then I hung up. Soon after, Kiki had left me the most glorious message that I will never forget and it went something like this “Hi Amy, I am so glad you are interested in joining our group. Bring along your baby and your diaper bag with diapers and anything else you need. You can show up WHENEVER. Group starts at 1:00 but you can come whenever you are able to get out of the house-that means 10 minutes late, a half hour late or five minutes before we are done. Just come. You can feed your baby whenever during our group. If you are nursing your baby, don’t worry, many of the moms are figuring out how to do that out of the house too. If you need to change your baby, no worries, moms are constantly changing their babies during group. Just come and we will figure it all out once you are here.” I know she was probably a very busy person, but you never would have known with the time and care she put into leaving that voicemail.
How did she know exactly what I needed to hear? I showed up that day and I never missed a session after that. I remember pushing the stroller through a hail storm the 10+ blocks to show up. I met friends and formed a playgroup. That one voicemail changed everything for me and my baby daughter.. And I am not exaggerating.
Kiki knew her audience and she knew how to welcome us. She was the most magnificent host. Not only did Kiki show me what compassion looks like, she also taught me that my needs weren’t silly. I was not alone. I have continued to seek out the Kiki’s in my life and having exposure to her let me know that they are around if you look. But you have to look, you have to reach out and you have to receive their kindness. I try to be a Kiki to my clients, my community and my family. It is not always easy, but she is who I aspire to be.
If you could get the perfect voicemail right now, what would it say? What do you need to hear to move forward right now?
If you are wondering whether coaching might be right for you and I could be your Kiki or the Kiki for a loved one, check out my website here and sign up for a free consultation.
