This morning I started my walk early because it was going to be a hot day. I put on my sunscreen and comfortable clothes and sneakers, selected my audiobook and went on my way. About a quarter of the way into the walk, I felt a small pebble in my shoe. It was annoying, but not painful. I kept walking thinking it wasn't worth the effort to remove the pebble.

Eight months ago, my sweet rescue dog, Ivy, became very sick. After several months of attempting to diagnose her, they finally determined she had lupus and diabetes. My life transformed quickly into being her caregiver: giving her insulin twice a day, checking her numbers, transforming my house to her weaknesses (she used to be the best jumper, now I had to lift her onto the couch and the bed). I was terrified. Would I be able to do all of this? Could I care for her in the way she needed?

Working with a client last week, I was reminded of the movie “50 First Dates” with Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler. My client was telling me about a vulnerable moment she had and how she began to think back on her life “mis-steps”. As I listened to her, I had to make sure I heard her correctly. When I thought about her life I thought of all the good choices she had made and the successes she’d had. We were both looking at the same life through a completely different lens.

After 50 years around the sun, I have learned a few things. Aging gives the superpower of life experiences and observations. Below is a compilation of 50 things I have learned over my life so far. I hope this list helps you as you live your life and maybe come up with your own list. My hope is that I continue to grow and evolve beyond these 50 years.

1. Life is stranger than fiction: my mom has always said this and the more I live, the more I agree.

2. Bravery is in the eye of the beholder. I used to think that I wasn’t brave. But in reality I am just brave about different things. I am fearful and I am brave--as we all are if we look closely.

So many people are ashamed of their jealousies and deny them or push them away. I argue that we should welcome these feelings with open arms. When confronted with a pang of jealousy, ask yourself “What do I want? What do I need? What is my jealousy telling me?

I love stories. I love watching my friends and family’s stories unfold, I relish in the stories of my clients, I become captivated by the stories in the fiction I read, I watch movies and shows with my family and we share our reactions to the characters’ stories. The stories of my religion pull me in, the story of my country, especially right now, seems of utmost importance.

Our Family Story

My family history is fascinating and we are all becoming more invested in our family history as things like “Ancestry” and “22 and You” become more mainstream. My parents love their family history and sharing the stories of my relatives with me. So many of my relatives had such difficult and demanding lives. So many suffered. Yet they also persevered. My paternal great-grandmother (I called her Mom Mom Miller) raised her younger siblings when she was just 15 years old because her mother died young. I remember her for her green thumb (she could resuscitate any plant) and her delicious chopped liver that we ate on ritz crackers before meals. She lived to be over 100. How did she do it? How did she choose life over and over again even when life seemed impossible?

During a client session, my client was working on figuring out how to best market her interior decorating business. I mentioned to her that I love her Instagram stories. That she has a knack for putting them together and they are a great way for clients and potential clients to see her amazing work (and her awesome personality). She seemed surprised. She responded that she loved doing those stories and they just came naturally to her. I said, “Great, do more of them”. We sometimes think that unless it is painful, it is not worth it. It is the old “no pain no gain” adage that I despise. Now this client does stories every day and her stories and I look forward to her stories about her decorating adventures every day.

Getting work done this week has been tough. As soon as I find a flow, my phone pings with more breaking news. The news can’t seem to stop breaking. And I am fascinated and addicted. I cannot believe the events of this past week. The highs and the lows. Staying up late to watch a historical run-off election one night and then watch an attempted coup the next. This is simply not normal. How can you get work done with so much going on in our country?

It is hard to believe 2021 is almost here. With it comes a lot of hope, but we also continue to live with uncertainty. I don’t know about you, but I am sick of uncertainty. I want to know when we will be able to hug our parents again, when our kids can go back to school in person and when I can sit in my favorite coffee shop.

Given how much is still up in the air, I am proposing we perform a year-end celebration and preparation that helps provide a little comfort and excitement even in uncertain times.

Many of us know the feeling of getting lost in the abyss of scrolling through social media and how it can just make you feel crummy. There is now science to back up these feelings. The findings of a new study in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine show there is now a clear connection between social media use and depression and that the association may be causal. The evidence suggests that we should limit our social media use to under two hours a day.

Many of us have gotten the email over these past few weeks that our kids will be going back to school virtually in the Fall–either full-time virtual or hybrid. Whether you wanted your kids back at school or not, this news is fraught with concerns. Spring was less than ideal for all of us (and this is an understatement). But now we can go into Fall with our eyes open.

I thankfully discovered Intuitive Eating a year ago—just in time for me to avoid starting yet another diet. You may see yourself in my story. Lord knows too many of us have suffered in our relationship with food and our bodies. Here is a snapshot of my story below.

Mental Load is defined as the invisible work that, in most cases, mothers have that is involved with running a family. 

My daughter just turned 18 and it reminded me of all of the growth I have had these last 18 years. We are all confused and innocent at the start of our parenting journey and there is so much to learn. 

“Create the Space to Let Life Happen” is the motto on my 2018 planner designed by Ashley Staum, owner of “She Plans.”

The first hard conversation I can remember initiating was in third grade when I was new to my elementary school. I walked up to another 3rd grader who to me was cool in every way. We were lined up to leave music class and she was in line with me.

Traveling with teenagers was incredibly special and a wonderful opportunity to grow and bond as a family. Below are the reasons I recommend everyone travel with their teenagers…

Ok, I am not sure if this is something others struggle with, but this is a top struggle for me.  How do I find a balance between flexibility and rigidity?

Hari argues that depression and anxiety may be very appropriate reactions to what we are experiencing in our life and changing our circumstances might be exactly what we need to address our feelings.

Talking about college, visiting colleges, prepping for ACT/SAT, prepping for the drivers test, AP classes and the overarching awareness that life as I have known it for 17 years is about to change is tough and I need to figure out how to handle it.