Caring for Ivy
Eight months ago, my sweet rescue dog, Ivy, became very sick. After several months of attempting to diagnose her, they finally determined she had lupus and diabetes. My life transformed quickly into being her caregiver: giving her insulin twice a day, checking her numbers, transforming my house to adapt to her new weaknesses (she used to be the best jumper, now I had to lift her onto the couch and the bed). I was terrified. Would I be able to do all of this? Could I care for her in the way she needed?
I decided that Ivy was going to be my priority. I was going to do what I needed to help her live as long as she comfortably could. I put up on my blackboard “every day is a gift,” as a reminder that this she wasn’t going to around forever, and I should make the most of each day with her. I turned down plans so I could be near her. I altered my exercise and work routines to allow me to be at her side. We delayed overnights and trips, and since this was during Covid, this was not as tough as it could have been. Having a singular focus and making a decisive plan helped my anxiety. I became friends with the many vets who cared for Ivy and they were so supportive and kind. When the time came to say goodbye, I knew I had done everything I could to give her the best life.
Without Ivy, I was left with a huge void. My day was so wrapped around caring for her, I felt lost without the role of companion and caretaker. It made me miss her more. But I was also filled with new confidence. If I could focus, plan, ask questions and feel gratitude while caring for her, I could accomplish other challenges. Caring for Ivy taught me how strong I can be, and how effectively I can learn when I find the right teachers and allow myself to make whatever I am working on a priority.
Now I have to take that self-assurance with me. What do I want to do with my time? How can I push out the noise and commit to what is important to me? How can I say “no” to distractions? Ivy was such an important part of my life that making her my top priority was easy. What do I want to give that attention to now? This question is harder when you have a choice and so many things are calling for your attention. I have a few ideas I am contemplating now and hope to make a decision soon. Once I choose, I have the skills to deliver. I just have to pull from the skills caring for Ivy gave me.
