The Pebble in My Shoe
This morning I started my walk early because it was going to be a hot day. I put on my sunscreen and comfortable clothes and sneakers, selected my audiobook and went on my way. About a quarter of the way into the walk, I felt a small pebble in my shoe. It was annoying, but not painful. I kept walking thinking it wasn't worth the effort to remove the pebble. But then I stopped and asked myself, ``Why would I continue walking in discomfort if it was so easy to fix?” So I stopped, balanced on one leg, removed my shoe and the tiny pebble fell out. Ahhhh, walking felt so much better.
So why does this matter? I have always had a tendency to think I was overly sensitive, overly needy. I suppressed so many of my needs as a way to fit in, seem cool. I wanted to be “casual” “easy” “going with the flow”. It took until my 40s to realize that the only person I was hurting with this approach was myself. Everyone else was thrilled I would just go with the flow--because it meant I would go with their flow and not insist on my own preferences. It was so bad I have spent my 40s figuring out what my preferences even are.
So back to the pebble in my shoe. Yes, it was not “a big deal”, nothing to really complain about, but it was annoying. I went for walks to clear my head, to feel the breeze on my skin, to hear the birds, to learn from my audiobooks and podcasts and smell the flowers. A pebble in my shoe distracts me and diminishes all of the good. Little adjustments can have a big impact.
In the book “We Can All Be Millionaires,” the author Rachel Rodgers talks about how one of her clients had a broken cabinet in her kitchen. As a result, she had to stuff her food and supplies into the remaining cabinets which made navigating the kitchen more difficult. Not only did it make her time in the kitchen unpleasant, the messiness in her other cabinets caused her to break things by accident and waste time searching for things. As Rachel said, the cabinet was “stealing precious minutes of her precious time”. Finally, she took the time to hire someone to fix the cabinet. $500 later she no longer had to deal with the annoyance of the cabinet from now on and she could feel good about her kitchen.
All of these little annoyances feel silly, but they steal our energy, our attention and our productivity. Think about the things that annoy you on a daily basis or interfere with your ability to get things done in a satisfying way. What would it take to deal with those things and smooth out the edges of your day. We all deserve that.
I used to think having preferences made me appear needy and fragile. What I realize now is that people who have preferences have the capacity to create an environment that works for them. Knowing your needs makes you empowered, practical and self-aware. Obviously, we need to deal with things that are out of our control, but if you can fix something small to bring more happiness into your day, why not go for it? What little annoyances in your life steal your joy, your attention, your energy? How can you fix them? You have my permission to deal with them and make your life feel a little easier.
