Family Vacation
My family--parents, brother, sister, their spouses and kids and dogs-- recently got together for a week at the beach. There are too many micro-moments of connection to catalog, but here are a few that I witnessed and make me so happy:
my sister-in-law learning about her 9 year old nephew’s video game
my brother and dad taking 8am walks
my sister and I taking the dogs for walks
my mom telling funny stories about her childhood to the kids
my nephew figuring out how to get Ted Lasso up on the non-smart TV so we could all watch together
my husband playing with my niece in the ocean and being ridiculously silly and full of the joy of play
the older cousins winning stuffed animals for the youngest cousin
slowly catching up with my brother and sister-in-law about their year since we hadn’t seen them due to Covid
We were also lucky enough to watch the Olympics every day and survive a tornado warning while we all hunkered down on the ground floor together.
I know we are fortunate. We all miraculously get along and we all live relatively nearby and we can all take “off” a week to be together.
I cherish these weeks, but don’t get me wrong, they can also be exhausting. I had my puppy there and she was annoying my sister’s dogs, eating things she shouldn’t and wanting to play when we wanted to chill. The mess in the house from seven kids was overwhelming and the noise could be ridiculous. There have been times in my past that I could only handle a couple nights. But upon reflection, I realize so much of my difficulty in the past was due to my inability to take care of myself when things got too much for me. I had FOMO when I wanted to skip an activity to rest or to read. Or I felt guilty missing out on a family experience that only happens once a year.
I am easier on myself now. I nap when I need to (and my kids are old enough that I can). I read even if everyone else is going to the beach. I stay in the air conditioning when the heat causes a hot flash. I eat before I get famished. I spent this last year attending a program called Tend where we tapped into our needs. We asked ourselves daily, even multiple times a day, “what do I need?”. It is amazing what this simple question can elicit.
Giving myself these breaks throughout the week helped me be more present, less resentful and more joyful for the times that I am with everyone. We all need different things to help us stay grounded and sane. Finding mine and respecting other’s needs has made all the difference.
What would life be like if you tapped in and respected what you need? How could this make family vacations or simply everyday life more enjoyable?
