Wasted Worry Jar

For our 25th anniversary, my husband and I rented a beach house for three weeks. Every day, for three weeks, there was a threat of rain. The weather report consistently predicted rain every. single. day. And over the three weeks it actually rained only a handful of times. Never once did the rain actually get in the way of our plans. But the possibility of rain was always there.. threatening to ruin our fun.

This reminds me a little bit what it is like living with anxiety. Waiting for the bad thing to happen. Seeing predictions for it (either real or imagined). And then, nothing…

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes what we are worried about does happen–just like it did rain on occasion. But it happens much less frequently than those of us with anxiety expect. 

I used to make my daughter put a quarter to a “wasted worry jar” (an old tzedakah box) every time she worried about something that did not come to fruition. Like the time she got an “A” from the teacher who “never gives As” –she worried about that for weeks! And when she worried at the start of each year of high school and college that this year was not going to be as good as the year before. And on and on… I could pay a parking meter for months with the coins we collected on her wasted worries.

And the apple does not fall far from the tree. If worrying was an Olympic sport, I would get Gold. But I am better than I used to be. I am learning how to soothe my nervous system. To consider the best that could happen along with the worst. I am acknowledging my fortitude and ability to handle things even if they go wrong. 

The weather people predicted rain every single day of our vacation. And despite that, there was sunshine.