Sparks Fly: How Conversations Move Us Forward
One of my primary jobs as a coach is helping my clients have conversations. Together, we brainstorm who to meet with, how to reach out to them, what to focus on during the conversation and how to maintain the connection. Clients come to me having sent out a million resumes to no avail, or are stuck with their next step in life or are having a hard time managing it all. I almost always prescribe conversations as part of our plan.
Connections are the spice of life. Through conversations synergies are created, sparks fly, creative energy is stimulated, and everyone in the conversation learns something. The best case scenario is that the conversation gives food for thought and next steps.
I am surprised by how often people are resistent to the idea of having these conversations. There can be many reasons for this, but two obstacles I see most are: 1. shame around needing support and 2. shame around not having maintained relationships.
Shame around needing support
Sometimes people are ashamed of where they are in their life and embarrassed to be seeking support. I remind my clients that everyone encounters a bump in the road. Many people have been helped in the past and wish to pay it forward. Also, not every conversation has to be about “helping you”. Conversations can be about brainstorming ideas, finding clarity and building confidence.
Shame around not maintaining relationships
Sometimes, people are embarrassed that they have not been good about keeping in touch. Our lives are complicated and “staying in touch” is not in everyone’s wheelhouse. But it is never to late to reach out and reconnect. Often the person you are reaching out to does not blame you and is appreciative that you made the effort. In a cost/benefit analysis, I would argue the benefits outweigh the costs—so put yourself out there and reach out to old friends and colleagues. It is worth it.
What makes a good conversation?
Curiosity. That’s it. You don’t have to come to a conversation with a grand plan. It is helpful to do your homework and come up with a general map of what you hope to learn in the conversation. Most importantly, come ready to learn. Who knows where the conversation will go. And, if possible, maintain this connection. Keep them in the loop. Consult with them on future questions. Thank them. Maintaining these connections does not need to become a full time job. A little can go a long way.
If you need support with your connections, please reach out to set up a consultation. Let’s see how to help you move past your hesitations and into something powerful.
