Small Kindnesses
I participate in a writing class several times a year. In the class, my teacher, Anna Guest-Jelley, selects poems as jumping off points for our “wild writing”. Wild writing involves writing for 10 minutes straight without worrying about our handwriting, grammar or that it even makes sense. We are accessing our subconscious and bringing it into awareness through the act of writing. During one of the classes, Anna read a poem about small kindnesses. One of the writers in our group read her piece aloud where she honored her friend who was a small kindness maven. She just couldn’t help herself. She remembered her friend needing to say something kind to a stranger in the airport. It was her calling. The writer’s words moved me. I felt her love and awe for her friend and the impact her friend’s small kindnesses had on those around her. When I listened to her read her writing, I was so moved by her story. I had to stop and breathe for a minute and pat my wet eyes with a tissue. Why do small kindnesses elicit such strong emotions?
Then I started to think about small kindnesses I had received recently:
The time my friend went out of her way to write to me that she loved the color of my shirt when she forgot to say it in person.
When a woman yelled across the mall to shout out my newly cut and freshly blown out haircut. (Gray haired women unite!)
The time someone made an effort to tell me how they appreciate my newsletter and how they see themselves in my words. Ah, I will never get past the idea that people actually read my writing.
I love the idea of a quiet whisper of a small kindness. (Or the loud cheers from a stranger at the mall.)
And what about the small kindnesses we can show ourselves? Keeping small promises to ourselves. Taking a nap instead of guzzling another caffeinated drink. Saying no when you don’t want to do something. Making a special meal for just you.
I am about to go to the beach for three weeks, a big kindness my husband and I offered ourselves for our 25th anniversary. But what will really matter is all the small kindnesses of the three weeks. Connecting with my family and friends when they stay there. Seeing my parents enjoy time with their grandkids. Taking a quiet moment for myself to gaze out at the water. Maintaining my morning coffee routine and journal writing. Having a library of books for people to borrow and read on vacation. Long walks with the dogs. Yes, the beach house itself is a big kindness to myself, but it will be in the smaller moments that the magic happens.
