Do Your Rules Make Sense?

Throughout our lives we accumulate rules to follow and then we stick to these rules unaware. In order to live more authentically and allow for new goals and dreams, we must pay attention to see what are old and outdated rules. Here are some rules I discovered when I did this work:

-For many years, I would only order the fish entree when at a restaurant. It must have originally been related to diet culture in some way even though and I am sure I told myself a story that it wasn’t. But now this rule is no longer serving me (if it ever was). Now when I walk into a restaurant part of the fun is opening a menu and choosing whatever appeals to me in that moment. Sometimes it is fish, sometimes it is not. It is part of the fun of going out to eat.

-Over 15 years ago my husband Gideon and I made a budget to figure out what we wanted to spend on and what we didn’t. We decided we weren’t going to go to Broadway shows because they were expensive and time consuming (schlepping into the city, etc). However, yesterday, I had two conversations where friends were sharing a story about a Broadway show they recently saw. It was at that moment that I realized I wanted to go to a show but I was still living by this rule. We now have the time to schlep into the city and I really miss Broadway. So I just booked a show! How silly to still be following a rule from back when my kids were toddlers.

-I realize I have followed rules that are the norm in society but weren't my rules to begin with. Over the past few years I stopped coloring my hair, I don't wear make up unless I am in the mood to and I have stopped dieting and "watching my weight". All of these choices have allowed me freedom to live more authentically and have freed up time and energy to pursue things that are aligned with my values, hopes and dreams.

I have had clients who cannot get their day going because they are so busy working out, following a rigid skincare routine, cleaning up their kitchen. They are exasperated when they tell me they have no time. They do not realize all these rules are optional. You don’t have to have a clean sink to leave the house or go to bed. That is an external rule. You have the power to question it and choose what makes the most sense for you in your life right now. 

Life is too short to live by rules that no longer serve us. Keep your eyes open to spot rules that you are following and challenge them. Ask yourself: who made the rule in the first place? What were the circumstances? Do they still serve you (if they ever did)? Outdated rules keep you stuck in old ways and old circumstances. Challenge them and open up new opportunities.

Want to explore and challenge your rules together? Click here to set up a free consultation.

Thanks to Anna Sullivan @aesullivan2010 for making this photo available on Unsplash 🎁https://unsplash.com/photos/QPSvll9tIUA