Resource-Full: How to Spend Your Money, Energy and Time in 2023
Now that my kids are off to college and out of the house, Gideon and I are rethinking how we spend our time, energy and money. What do meals for two look like? How do we invest in our house in a way that honors our shifting reality? What experiences do we want with our kids and with each other? How do we support our kids financially while encouraging monetary independence? How can we spoil our puppy in new and different ways? How do we cultivate friendships? How do we foster our connection and intimacy in our relationship while pursuing our individual goals and desires? How can we support our neighbors and larger community? How can I develop a book reading schedule that approximates my book buying habit?
I have shifted my priorities and been more intentional about how I spend my time, energy and money. Below are a few examples of choices I have made as my daily parenting needs have decreased.
More Time for Self Care
I meet with a trainer twice a week. I know many people would think that is extravagant, but I would give up a lot to have this. It is honestly my favorite part of my week. My trainer is a mentor and a friend. He has helped me grow stronger and helped me avoid injuries in the process. I leave our sessions intellectually and physically energized. We chat, work, and he teaches me how to both accept my body for what it is while challenging it in gentle and safe ways.
More Thoughtful About How I Spend My Money
I want to spend money supporting things that are important to me. I buy the more expensive chicken, beef and eggs that were produced in humane ways. I buy from size inclusive clothing brands that embrace models of all sizes in their advertising. I am starting to buy Substack subscriptions to financially support writers and thinkers. (Substack lets independent writers and podcasters publish directly to their audience and get paid through subscriptions.) I shop locally more frequently. I buy books from Bookshop.org instead of Amazon and support my public library. Being intentional about how I spend my time and money feels fulfilling to me. Reflecting on my values as a consumer is a fertile area for me to continue exploring this year.
More Time for Connection and Spontaneity
I have more time to reach out to friends, catch up, have lunch, and go for walks. Reconnecting with people has felt so good. Having time for casual conversations when walking the dog, at the grocery store and in town is a gift. Slowing down and appreciating the moment feels new. I have to remind myself that it’s ok to take the scenic route. My life no longer requires me to be bound by efficiency. This way of being feels awkward, but I am committed to releasing these old habits and embracing a slower and more mindful way of life.
More Flexibility to Support my Village
I have more time for my village. Broken bones, diagnoses, and loss of parents happen more often at this stage of life, and I have the bandwidth to support people. I can cook a meal, pick up groceries, offer rides, and keep people company. I can still feel useful and involved without the day to day routine of raising kids. There are always opportunities to care for others and now I have increased capacity to offer my assistance.
More Tme for Rest
I was surprised by how tired I was once I dropped my kids at college. I had anticipated jumping into this “empty nest” mode full of energy and focus but in reality I just wanted to sleep, read, take baths, watch TV and chill. It was like all the stress of launching my kids into the world hit me like a brick wall. I had to let go of my expectation to be productive and instead take the time to metabolize the energy that I had been putting into my role as a mother for the past 21 years. This was unexpected but I decided to welcome it instead of fighting it. The call to rest continues to reverberate and I continue to honor it.
2023 is a pretty transitional year for us, so there is a lot of flexibility, opportunity to be creative and revisit our values and priorities. Reflecting on our changing circumstances is bittersweet. It is hard to say goodbye to life centered around our kids, but it is ripe with opportunity and growth for Gideon and me as a couple.
How do you want to embrace life’s inevitable transitions while savoring the present in 2023? What priorities do you have? How are they reflected in your day to day life? Take a moment to pause and question. Spending your time, energy and money in deliberate and thoughtful ways can allow you to live in alignment with your values and greatly enhance your well being.
A bonus to this new phase of life is having more time to enthusiastically focus on partnering with clients to brainstorm, reflect, embrace, and progress. Reach out to schedule a FREE half hour consultation here.
Photo by Dayne Topkin on Unsplash
