Queen Elizabeth's Quandary

There is a beautiful scene in the final episode of The Crown (*spoiler alert*) where Queen Elizabeth is contemplating resigning from the crown so that her son Prince Charles can take over. She appears to be handling this enormous decision on her own. Her husband keeps checking in to see if she wants to talk about it, but she says she is fine. There is much speculation in the country and those closest to her wondering what she will choose. She has consulted no one. Then, we as the audience, are invited into her secret world where she is contemplating her decision. Younger versions of her (played by the actresses who played the younger versions of her in the show) visit her. They remind her of her true calling; that she was meant to be the queen until the end. One of her younger selves reminds her of something Queen Mary had said. It turns out for this particular issue the answer was within her. 

At the same time, we see her seeking lots of outside counsel when it came to another issue she needed to resolve. When Charles asks her permission to marry Camilla, she knew she needed outside perspectives. She brings in a multitude of advisors including a dozen religious leaders and Charles’ two boys William and Harry. Queen Elizabeth valued outside counsel when it made sense for her. When it came to her own decision whether to remain queen or give up the crown, she had the wisdom to know the answer was within her. 

I was very much affected by this episode. I loved her strength in knowing when she needed to seek outside help and when she needed to follow her own heart. I think part of aging is gaining that wisdom. I used to poll everyone for every decision and sometimes that was the right choice and sometimes I needed to make the decision myself. Also, I have also learned that if I am going to seek outside perspectives, I need to actually consider them. How many times have we had the answer within us, then polled everyone and then went on with our own plan and ignored their advice? Such a waste of your time and the time of the people you are polling. 

This is a muscle I hope to continue to strengthen. How to know when the answer is outside of me (seek input and then make a decision) or when the answer is inside me (give time to myself to contemplate the best choice). Of course this is not binary. When we consult others, we are still consulting ourselves. And when we look within, we are incorporating the wisdom we have gathered from others over the years. 

There are many ways to make decisions and becoming a more effective decision maker comes with age and experience. I invite you to think about the best decisions you have made in life. Did you consult others or just yourself? Who are your best advisors? Consider if you have any decisions coming up? What is the best way to approach them?

Photo by Nathan Mcgregor on Unsplash