“Best Day Ever!”: Gathering Glimmers
My 23 year old daughter Gabrielle was in the recovery room after ankle surgery as a result of a falling and breaking her ankle a few days earlier. She had not eaten for many hours prior to the surgery so when the nurse brought her bags of chips and cookies, Gabrielle announced with a big smile “this is the best day ever!” This is not what you would expect to hear after surgery. The nurse and I both started laughing because it was just so cute and unexpected. For whatever reason (maybe the drugs that were still in her system from surgery), she was able to be completely present in that moment. At that moment it was the best day ever. She was starving and the nurse brought her yummy snack food. She was happy!
Even though this really wasn’t the best day ever–is surgery ever fun?- she was able to see the moment for what it was. She was being taken care of and she could take that in. It’s so hard to take in the good when things are not going well.
Glimmer Moments
Gabrielle was experiencing what psychologist Deb Dana would call a Glimmer Moment. I learned about finding glimmers during a somatic experiencing course I took with Stefanie Bonastia. She taught us that finding glimmers is an “ongoing practice of noticing moments of ease, joy, okayness, evidence of safety; noticing what we need is around us”. For that moment Gabrielle felt safe. She knew she was being taken care of. She was able to articulate this glimmer moment which allowed me, her worried mom, and the overworked and under appreciated nurse to have a moment of levity along with her.
Stefanie says “glimmers are like gratitude journals for the brain”. It’s giving your nervous system a moment of experiencing safety. How can you find glimmers in your life – even during life’s difficult times?
Glimmers can be:
-spotting a rainbow or a beautiful flower
-listening to a bird singing
-seeing an old friend
-dancing
-listening to music
-being creative
-figuring something out
-petting a dog
-getting snacks after ankle surgery :)
And many many more–you just have to pay attention to the world around you and how you respond to it.
