Keeping Up
I started seeing a trainer, Mike Romano, six months ago. I love his approach to working out. He is all about purpose. He sees exercise as a means to an end. Exercise is so we can continue to do what we love doing in our regular life. Everything he and I do together is to support my movement in my day-to-day life.
Yesterday I mentioned to him that I have trouble “keeping up” when I am walking with my husband and my son. I was hoping Mike might be able to incorporate something into our routine to help me walk faster. He responded with a very interesting question:
“Do you and your husband have different approaches to walking?”
I thought about it. And we talked about it. And I realized, YES! My husband and I do have different approaches to walking. He is very focused on getting to the destination, and I prefer to take things in along the way. I don’t like to rush. In any part of my life. This is why I try to head out early whenever I go places because I hate to rush (and I hate being late). My husband loves to rush! He is motivated by the urgency of a situation; it propels him forward, helps him feel invested, and keeps him on task.
This reframe was so key! It wasn’t that I couldn’t keep up with them, it is that we have different ways of approaching the activity itself.
This made me think about careers, life choices, and comparison in general. You cannot compare your life, your choices or your walks with others based on what appears on the surface. You need to dig a little deeper. Because of my values, my temperament, my goals, I cannot compare myself to other people. If I start to beat myself up, I need to step back and figure out what is going on. Am I asking the right question? “Keeping up” is not necessarily the appropriate metric. Instead of trying to keep up with people who move at a different pace than I do, I need to remember that my pace works for me and that is what matters.
