The Math and the Poetry
The other day I listened to the podcast “We Can Do Hard Things” where Glennon Doyle and Abby Wombach interview Priya Parker, the author of the Art of Gathering. If you have read my blogs and newsletters, you know that I am huge Priya fan. She is an expert on how to create more meaningful gatherings. In this podcast episode she talks about how we must focus on the math and the poetry when planning a meaningful gathering. We should ask ourselves, why am I bringing these people together? And then we need to break down the structure to support that objective. “What is the infrastructure? What’s the coordinating mechanism? What’s the math and the poetry to coordinate this community to have something that they haven’t had before.”
She posits that gatherings can be culture shifting if they are put together thoughtfully. One interesting example she gives is how people are starting to rethink the idea of all female baby showers. If we are looking to have more egalitarian partnerships around parenting, why would we exclude the father from this ritual? The poetry is the idea that we can challenge the norm and reach towards a more egalitarian approach to parenting and the math is inviting both parents to feel the support of the community before having a baby.
My best friend Nealy is a Kindergarten teacher. At the beginning of the year she designs her classroom with both math and poetry. She knows how she wants the kids to feel in her classroom and she creates an environment that is conducive to that. For example, she has a block area so kids can build and create, and it is organized so they can find the blocks they want to use. There are clear markers indicating where they can build and rules about how to be respectful of each others’ block creations. Creating boundaries allows her students to expand and create within a safe space. We all need to be kindergarten teachers in our own life, balancing the big ideas with boundaries.
As a coach, I sometimes have to bring either the math or the poetry into my sessions. Some of my clients are creative and think outside the box and are able to make connections and find opportunities. These same people sometimes need help building the scaffolding to support these big ideas. Big ideas are just that–ideas, you need to take organized action to achieve them.
I also have the opposite situation. People who have infrastructure, but their ideas are limited. It can be hard for these people to come up with vision and think outside the box. Some of my clients are very regimented, which can be productive, but to what end? Having all your blocks organized without a desire to build and create is futile.
Bringing math and poetry to our gatherings and our goals is a worthwhile and challenging endeavor. What aspects of your life could benefit from more math or more poetry?
Things to think about….
Are you hosting any holiday events over the next few weeks? Think about how you can be intentional about the purpose of your gathering. How can you question norms and use boundaries to create a welcoming and safe space for your guests.
Are you starting to plan for 2024? Do you have both math and poetry in your list of things you want to accomplish? What are your priorities? How can you create an environment and a schedule to support these goals?
Are there events you will be attending or planning in 2024? Do the goals of the events still make sense? How can you rethink things you have taken for granted to make time together more meaningful and magical?
